Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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