mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I checked into jail on foursquare
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize