HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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