i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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