ugly people sure do ruin things
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.