Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.

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  (315): evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/zjs6
  Replies (31) Good night (768) Bad night (1413)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.

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  (918): The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God. http://tfl.nu/l6po
  Replies (20) Good night (7924) Bad night (803)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.

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  (407): It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest. http://tfl.nu/ndz5
  Replies (52) Good night (16145) Bad night (1068)
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  (530): View more from California

  you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.

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  (530): you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts. http://tfl.nu/kee8
  Replies (27) Good night (5059) Bad night (2405)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates

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  (509): if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates http://tfl.nu/h4yt
  Replies (28) Good night (4649) Bad night (1122)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.

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  (480): Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck. http://tfl.nu/qoqh
  Replies (41) Good night (1098) Bad night (5069)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head

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  (817): but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head http://tfl.nu/vzhl
  Replies (5) Good night (769) Bad night (2467)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference

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  (304): she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference http://tfl.nu/95t7
  Replies (4) Good night (2187) Bad night (562)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?

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  (507): Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth? http://tfl.nu/1qlq
  Replies (13) Good night (1665) Bad night (628)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.

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  (907): I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue. http://tfl.nu/inzh
  Replies (3) Good night (867) Bad night (455)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.

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  (503): You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before. http://tfl.nu/c801
  Replies (13) Good night (1050) Bad night (552)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity

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  (410): So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity http://tfl.nu/7cj4
  Replies (2) Good night (853) Bad night (414)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it

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  (541): I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it http://tfl.nu/0g6v
  Replies (4) Good night (2171) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition

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  (631): You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition http://tfl.nu/5r22
  Replies (2) Good night (418) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask

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  (503): You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask http://tfl.nu/3k90
  Replies (4) Good night (663) Bad night (220)

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