Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
