I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
