Plan B is the new Plan A
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Is this like a preordered booty call?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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