Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
