It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
