I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
