bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
