She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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