omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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