Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
