If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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