That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize