You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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