I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm like, not good at living.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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