Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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