We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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