so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
that's an acceptable place to lick
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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