i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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