It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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