Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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