last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
BRING THE BAGELS
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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