JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
