you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She bit a glass in half.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
