a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
