hell yes lets make some ravioli
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
