you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
