you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
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