You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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