Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
