I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
