i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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