woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
