Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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