I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
