If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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