u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
