my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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