can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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