I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
