We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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