Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
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She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
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If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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