I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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