Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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