I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
