I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
