Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
