im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?