Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
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These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
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He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!