he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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