apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
