I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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