Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest

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  (571): dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest http://tfl.nu/nou3
  Replies (8) Good night (1365) Bad night (2097)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke

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  (330): I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke http://tfl.nu/gn8s
  Replies (4) Good night (919) Bad night (2816)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks

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  (413): At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks http://tfl.nu/fbkp
  Replies (15) Good night (935) Bad night (2802)
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  (530): View more from California

  Those balls look pretty dangerous.

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  (530): Those balls look pretty dangerous. http://tfl.nu/vdt4
  Replies (6) Good night (3024) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling

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  (774): What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling http://tfl.nu/ijkr
  Replies (21) Good night (1095) Bad night (6166)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.

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  (781): I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket. http://tfl.nu/zypb
  Replies (51) Good night (860) Bad night (4730)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...

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  (303): theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner... http://tfl.nu/glgi
  Replies (24) Good night (1172) Bad night (5419)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv

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  (440): I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv http://tfl.nu/sgj1
  Replies (11) Good night (1305) Bad night (2301)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.

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  (203): Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever. http://tfl.nu/gq2j
  Replies (27) Good night (2855) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.

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  (813): So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges. http://tfl.nu/t5l6
  Replies (6) Good night (1775) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.

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  (419): I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one. http://tfl.nu/6e70
  Replies (6) Good night (588) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.

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  (251): Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk. http://tfl.nu/ul5p
  Replies (0) Good night (370) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced

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  (425): Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced http://tfl.nu/tykz
  Replies (0) Good night (559) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.

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  (405): So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door. http://tfl.nu/69g0
  Replies (4) Good night (652) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster

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  (336): Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster http://tfl.nu/y7nw
  Replies (0) Good night (511) Bad night (201)

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