Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace. http://tfl.nu/1kl9
  Replies (27) Good night (642) Bad night (2318)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar http://tfl.nu/y62m
  Replies (10) Good night (4769) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico! http://tfl.nu/4kc0
  Replies (13) Good night (3649) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing http://tfl.nu/u02m
  Replies (21) Good night (5288) Bad night (1830)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop. http://tfl.nu/xdpv
  Replies (19) Good night (6047) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars http://tfl.nu/5z1n
  Replies (10) Good night (4879) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life http://tfl.nu/5boh
  Replies (6) Good night (2807) Bad night (1380)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man. http://tfl.nu/v8cz
  Replies (6) Good night (2029) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out http://tfl.nu/lg4i
  Replies (7) Good night (2075) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking. http://tfl.nu/tfa8
  Replies (6) Good night (989) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman. http://tfl.nu/vuix
  Replies (11) Good night (1278) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts. http://tfl.nu/2k5o
  Replies (1) Good night (362) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring. http://tfl.nu/atx5
  Replies (1) Good night (413) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer. http://tfl.nu/rbji
  Replies (0) Good night (799) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way. http://tfl.nu/lvrh
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (173)

Randomize