Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions