if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
