You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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