i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You took a bar mat shot.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
