So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
