just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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