just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
