By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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