For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
