State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize