Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
